Morning all.
Today, we start a with one of my clichés. But in a classy way.
Pay ATTENTION!!!
Got it? Cool. Thanks for coming, everyone. See you next Sunday.
What’s that, Lila? “Context?...”
Well, its definitely unlike me, but I guess I could go into it a little today.
“Pay attention to what?” you might ask loudly, and not unreasonably.
Let’s be honest, I’ve been asking you to pay attention to a lot of this prior to this, but it usually boils down to a few things. Namely 1. Who are you?, 2. What do you want? And 3. How do you want to feel? Today, we are going to pay service to number 3.
The implication of asking those questions is that we don’t. Pay attention and ask those questions I mean.
Yeah, I said it!!!
The majority of us walk around like we are the living dead, but with slightly better skin care, slightly more attention to detail, a bit of empathy (sometimes less, but that’s being triggered by other peoples feeling states for you…) and a slightly broader diet than just brains. As good as they are, a healthy person does not, a singular diet of brains, make.
“Cool. We are slightly better than zombies because we eat carbs sometimes. Thanks for that. Jerk…” you begin with. “What are we supposed to be paying attention to today, that’s worth insulting us about?...”
Well, Trent, unlike zombies, we have the capacity to pay at least a little attention to things beyond our next meal.
Back to question 3. Paying attention to how you feel IS important. But what if you aren’t very good at that? What if feelings are an alien sensation to you that are to be avoided at all costs because that way they don’t get in the way of important things. Like being important. And right. And the winner. And the best!
What if, and just hear me out here, our ego is in such control that any kind of contrary emotion to how we think things should be is ignored and suppressed in the face of the juggernaut?
Some people,… well, a lot of people, have trouble acknowledging their feelings and what they might indicate, let alone managing them and using them as something valuable.
So, what do we do then?
Where do we feel feelings? What do we do with them? How do we describe them? If we can’t understand them, what the hell do we do about them?
Okay. All fair questions. Lets start at the beginning.
Where do I feel feelings? Honestly, you feel them where you do.
Ever had your heart broken? Guess where that feeling manifests?
Ever found out that a girl you like at school likes you back, and their friends tell your friends that actually, yes they would like to go steady? Same place. In case it matters, its not a coincidence that matters of the heart manifest feelings in the center of our chest.
What happens if we’ve found out too many times that said girl we like didn’t like us back?
Feels shitty, right? How many times do we need to feel shitty before we make an ego based to decision that this isn’t how we want to feel ever again? Yep, close up that shit, bury it under cement and encase it in razor wire. Feelings are over-rated anyway, right? Right!
Cool. So that’s that then. No more to talk about. Now that’s done, we can get on with stuff, right?
Well, I’m terribly sorry to say, your emotions and their mental and emotional impact disagree.
Pretty rude, right?...
Lets just say, we did decide that emotions weren’t for us. Made a mental decision to never get involved with anyone again. Oh, we’ll be in relationships. But actually connect with them? Ew. They might hurt us again. Cant be having with that.
What if they get fed up with not connecting, and leave? Does it hurt? Or do we pretend like it doesn’t? So, we pretend. And again, and again. Because again and again, they “prove” to us that its better to protect ourselves than care and connect and relate and open and love. Seems reasonable.
Well, why do we bother with being in a relationship at all then? Somethings driving us towards it. But what? Weird huh?... If we ACTUALLY believed we are better to be closed off, we wouldn’t entertain the idea. But something within us, deep down, still goes looking for something.
Not so buried, is it? Why does it still hurt if its buried? Not so buried, is it?
Where do we feel all of this? In the chest, correct Carlina.
What happens when we mentally ignore this feeling for so long?
Ever have a tight feeling in your chest that you can’t explain? Like anxiety is literally closing a vice around your chest?
What might that look like, posture wise? Kind of hunched over, like we’re frightened or scared or about to throw down? What kind of impact does that have on your blood pressure you think? Your cortisol and adrenaline? How do you think you’d be sleeping if that was default mode? So worried about being hurt that we stay in permanent flight mode?
I’d argue, most people who feel that way, acknowledge they feel that way. But get lost in the overwhelm of the emotions behind it, and our bodies double down on escape mode to try and avoid the feelings that escape mode is making harsher. But that’s another subject. Definitely another subject.
What if you’re one of those people who have decided to go the other way with the feeling, and ignore it, act like it’s not there? They look fine, yeah. But what else is going on for them?
If they consciously ignore those feelings, does that mean they aren’t there? Nope.
If their posture suggests they don’t feel that way, does that mean those emotions aren’t there? Unlikely. If they’re prepared to ignore their emotions, does it seem likely they’d ignore a little unexplained tightness in the chest? Probably…
What kind of health implications do we think might stem from higher blood pressure, consistently higher stress and performance hormones and reduced ability to sleep and recover?
The short answer is… lots. Breathing problems, metabolic function, sleep impairment. With knock on effects to go with them. I mean, it sounds fun, right?
What happens when you have truth bombs to drop and you don’t? When you need to stand up for yourself but the words get caught in your throat? How does that FEEL in your throat? Stressful? Dry? Constricted? Burning?
Did you know there’s a growing evidence base that illnesses of the throat can be traced to the inability to vocally advocate for yourself? Commonality is not causality and all that, but it is quite the co-winky-dink (coincidence, for the poorly educated and ill-informed on all matters Ned Flanders…) isn’t it?
What happens when someone takes away control you have over your own life? Your heart sinks. All that fun postural stuff I mentioned before happens again, triggers other physiological symptoms that take us down the same rabbit hole as the other examples.
Long winded point short…
The body manifests what the heart and mind suppress.
The stress of suppressing your emotions, your thoughts, yourself, is pretty up there as far as stressful things go. And its ALWAYS with you.
Stress creates inflammation. Inflammation creates… untold volumes of issues in the body and its healthy function. Honestly, the things it does to us…
Creating a situation where we just heightened, and then absorb, unacknowledged stress because we just wont be honest with ourselves and our feelings… Well, its dumb. And stressful. In case that wasn’t obvious.
So, pay attention.
Feelings don’t just disappear because we think we’ve thought them out of existence. We, as the meat popsicles piloted by ego ghosts, have spent quite a few too many years developing this ability to feel to pretend like it’ll be fine if we just ignore it.
They are trying to tell you something. For your own good.
They will make you notice them, one way or the other.
They aren’t that bad either. Promise. Once we decide to not let them control us, they are pretty useful. Like telling us when we think someone is hot. That’s obviously SUPER useful.
Pay attention. To yourself. You’ve got cool stuff to share with you, if you’ll listen.
What if it was “The body manifests in what the heart and mind invest”?
Be kind, be smart, be your best you. No bar fights.
“All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own.” Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Comments