Morning everybody.
Well, afternoon now. But that’s a boring story about things like washing and cleaning up shattered kombucha bottles that I’m sure you’d rather I spared you beyond the detail you’ve already inadvertently sat through…
Anyway…
How’s the old diet going?
Ticking along nicely?
Carved out of wood we look that chiselled yet?
Or, as the wordsmith Greg Davies so eloquently puts it, do you look like you’re “carved out of a block of ham.”
Okay, I’ll admit the is a LOT of middle ground between wood and ham. And I’m sure some you resent the analogy, and quite reasonably so. Its unfair and harsh and mean and, occasionally, disappointingly true.
So, when we do try our hand at something like a diet/eating regimen/nutrition plan/energy intake manipulation program, what makes it a shining and shouting success or a flaccid and floppy failure?
Well… Lots of stuff.
Sometimes it’s the calories in versus calories out.
Sometimes it’s the macro management.
Sometimes it’s the quality of the food.
Sometimes it’s the bioavailability and absorption of the food itself.
Sometimes its systemic insulin resistance related to salt or exercise or sleep.
Sometimes, it’s how much we stress about all of those fun things and the end result we desperately crave so that we can like ourselves better, so then maybe Carly from the gym will think we’re hot and not blank us anymore like she did in high school because she was one of the cool kids and we were… not. Definitely not.
So why doesn’t just simply doing the thing just guarantee us to look like the chiselled and mass media-ly contrived hotter version of ourselves?
Ready for the classics to come out early today?
Because sometimes it matters WHY you do those things. Especially when it comes to stress. And your relationship with food. And the REAL motivation as to why you are doing what you’re doing, and if there-s a solid slap of self-sabotage mixed in with that mental concoction.
I’ll bring up my first piece of evidence, members of the jury. And Judge Harry. Didn’t mean to leave you out…
Cheat Meals.
Or even a cheat day…
Now, before I go after cheat meals, empirical evidence exists that there is physiological benefit to cheat meals when it comes to caloric refeeding and reloading. Depending on what the rest of your diet is like, it can produce a heightened state of recovery and muscle repair and growth.
Now we’ve got that out of the way…
If the diet was on point for you, your goals and how you work, why wouldn’t that be a thing that happens anyway from the food you just eat based on those things?
Yes, Tyler, it is very possibly I’m being a bit harsh and cynical here. Does that mean it’s not true?
If we need to eat things that probably aren’t really that good for us, just because its pretty calorie dense, what does that say about the rest of the food we’ve been eating? High quality yes, but is it enough?... Why not? How sustainable is that eating then?
Ahem… Before I get too far down that rabbit hole, I’ll redirect myself.
Physiological value aside, what is the real value in a cheat meal?
Most people who have them say its that opportunity to let their hair down (or tie it up, depending on the meal and how much maple syrup you might get in it if you don’t…) and not worry and stress about eating the exact right amount of blanched chicken and organic jasmine/basmati/red grain rice blend each meal.
Which, I’ve got to admit, would make me start wondering about what else is out there to feel like eating was worth doing ever again.
Which makes it sound like the cheat meal is a reward for doing something you maybe don’t really want to do quite well.
Hence one of the initial questions, what is our relationship with food and its value to us ACTUALLY like?
Are we eating in a way that kinda sucks to achieve a goal that we say we want, but to forestall the defiant reaction to doing that thing that kinda sucks for so long we have to build that inescapable and inevitable rebelling against that thing that kinda sucks, even though its getting us something we say we want?
Can anyone else see a problem with that?
What does it say about our goal?
What does it say about how we view the things we do in order to achieve it?
What on earth is going on in our heads that we are prepared to torture ourselves, and occasionally reward ourselves for enduring that torture, in order to do a thing that clearly runs completely contrary to how we relate to our food when that goal ISNT there?
Anyone else noticing that we aren’t just talking about food anymore either?
Good. Good for you, Kiana. You don’t get enough credit for that.
How do you feel about the methods aimed at getting you your goal?
Whats that? “It fucking sucks!!”
Well, that’s saying a lot isn’t it.
What if we tried this version instead?
“It still sucks. But with less carbs!!”
And this version?
“Super sucks. But at least I’m caring about the earth/animals/farmers/pesticides/corporate lies to propagate this foods manufacture”
Well, that’s at least something considered beyond how much it sucks… Go you.
Why do we have to force ourselves to do something that is a part of what we say we want?
Why do we need permission to eat a thing that isn’t especially aligned with what we say we want?
Why don’t we succeed in achieving that goal as often as we want?
Why, if we do get there, do we go backwards from it upon reaching it?
Because we never actually address why we ate the way we did that got us to that place originally.
Why do you want those foods that constitute a cheat meal?
Why don’t you want the foods in that diet aimed at getting you what you say you want?
Why do we create this pressure in ourselves about repressing what we crave against what our goals are?
Well, here goes.
Maybe the goal sucks.
What if you don’t really give a fuck about that stuff, but you think everyone else does and therefore don’t actually want to do the things to do it? you give up all these things you do like, for something that you, personally really aren’t that fussed about. Sounds shit…
Maybe those cheat meal foods help you feel better about yourself.
What if you’ve had some issues in your life that were tough and challenging, particularly when you were younger, and the way you learnt (or taught) to self soothe was with food. Dopamine hits for the win… And now, you don’t like your coping mechanisms, and DEFINITELY don’t like the result of years of living that way, but now your DIET is stressful, which is usually the way you feel better. Sounds super shit…
Neither of those sound great. Doing stuff that contradicts how you see yourself, or years of building neurology around coping mechanisms that may actually be hurting you now.
Both boil down to the same thing.
Food being a reflection of how you see yourself and your place in the world.
What kind of life we are living, and how that’s being reflected in our habits, all being driven by how we consciously and subconsciously think of ourselves…
Why do we need a cheat meal?
As opposed to why we want a cheat meal?
Why do we HAVE to eat this way?
Why do we want to eat this way?
Why do we NEED that?
Why do we want that?
Changing the energy and emphasis about the things we do to get what we want requires us to be clear on what we want.
If we aren’t clear, its all about the thing, which turns into a burden about not having the thing.
If the value of a cheat meal isn’t balanced by the value of the rest of the diet, then both become a burden to the two opposite and conflicting parts of ourselves that want seemingly different things.
What if those two parts go on the same team?
What if you actually wanted something because it was valuable to you, not just an escape from who you don’t want to be anymore.
That relationship with ourselves… Well, that’s kind of a big deal.
What’s your relationship with food really like?
How’s that working out for you?
What do you really want it to be like?
Be kind, be smart, be your best you. No bar fights.
“Addiction occurs when you try to fill something inside of you with something outside of you.” Karen Salmansohn
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