Hands up who wants change?
Cools. Good for you guys.
Hands up who wants to change?
Yeeaah, that’s what I thought…
Sorry to tell you this, but you are normal. Not in a disparaging way, so don’t start this read with some triggering, otherwise its going to be a rough ride. But also, not in a good way either.
Who wants to be normal?... Sounds boring.
But then, maybe you want boring. Especially if you interpret boring and secure and safe and reliable and consistent. If that is what you want, go get it. It sets up life to be nice and controlled and simple. A worthy goal.
But what if life doesn’t work like that?...
I imagine many of you have looked outside, on the news, on facey. On all sorts of stuff, and very reasonably come to the conclusion that shit isn’t normal. Not even close. How abnormal it can get is still to be seen. But its enough as it is for a lot of people.
So, what do we do when shit isn’t normal? Calmly have a pint at the Winchester and wait for this to all blow over? How did that work out for those guys in that movie? Correct, Navin, it did not… There were zombies, and red pockets, and Dylan Moran got eaten.
But, how is this remotely relevant to what we’re looking at now?
Wanting things to be normal, trying to do the things that give us security on the face of things that are anything but, is exactly how we are built to respond. If the great Toilet Paper rush of 2020 showed us anything, its that the little features of comfortable everyday life are a huge fucking deal when it comes to calming the brain down in the midst of chaos. I mean, it could also indicate how much certain members of the public are shitting themselves about things right now too. But that’s a different topic of conversation, and better left to a gastroenterologist.
The point is though, what are people prepared to do when things go pear-shaped to help themselves feel secure? And what will it drive them to?
Fist fights in shopping centers is a hell of a start. Hoarding a close second. (Seriously though, why can I only buy 2 bottles of olive oil? I’m not hoarding the stuff, I just go through it like nobodys business… Don’t even get me started on the little tins of water chestnuts. Not bitter, not bitter at ALL)
We do abnormal things in an attempt to normalise other things. Like forget that we are a collective. That when cortisol overrides our ability to genuinely and constructively think, we become 30 to50% dumber (LITERALLY that amount). That we ignore common sense in favour of the old paleocortex reptile mentality that is basically about telling everyone else to get fucked, that’s MY punnet of mince!!!
Okay, that’s enough dumping on people who are scared. Its understandable, but that doesn’t make it okay. Remember who you are, and who you don’t want to be, and I’ll stop it…
But this begs the question, how do we stop being that kind of arsehole to ourselves and everyone else by NOT spinning into a downward spiral of post-apocalyptic Machiavellian douche bag-gery. And be better for it.
Well, the short answer is growth. And gratitude. And the idea that everyone’s in the same boat as you. Well, maybe not exactly. Losing your job isn’t the same as being an essential worker being constantly exposed, they just suck in different ways.
“Where do we start?” you decry loudly. “This is sooo weird, how do we make sense of this without images of Mad Max movies flashing past our eyes?”
Glad you asked, Filly. It goes like this.
What, currently in your life, is the same as it was before old ‘Rona got started?
Your foot fungus isn’t one I’d normally start with, Greg, but we may as well start from the bottom up. Literally and metaphorically.
If your life has enough normalcy and you have enough time to have your foot and its weird itchiness still matter to you, how bad could things really be?
If you have a foot that allows you to still provide locomotion (in spite of it’s itchiness…) through the shops to provide for you in these times, that could be a LOT more than others have.
If you have the ability to get topical cream treatment for that foot condition, that’s a hell of a lot better than finding out there isn’t treatment for what you have besides rolling the dice and hoping your body is up to the task of keeping itself running.
Can you see where I’m going with this?
Have a modicum of gratitude about the things in your life that are still valuable to you. I promise, it gives some real and genuine perspective on life, probably makes you less inclined to be an arsehole (I say probably, I haven’t met you all…) and gives you a basis with which to maintain a level of security to turn and face the chaos with.
I get to write this ridiculousness every week. And I won’t be stopping any time soon, because I genuinely enjoy doing it. I have opportunity, in this small way, to do something I love, hopefully offer some help and value to people who read it AND laugh at my own bad jokes. Doing what I love, helping and laughing. I can’t tell you how profoundly grateful I am for the ability to do this whenever I like.
What have you got that can do this for you?
No, stop right there. Don’t start that same old shit again. Genuinely ask yourself the question.
Is your family home and safe?
Are you still able to contact your loved ones further away?
Can you catch up on your ready and sleep?
Does that fart that Dad just drop mean he’s getting enough green vegetables to eat?
Can you do some work on yourself now?
Which is a handy Segway into the next point.
Growth.
How can all this chaos be made to work FOR you rather than TO you?
I’ve touched on this a couple of times, but this is a massive chance to actually have this be an opportunity to really try it out.
What are you learning about yourself right now?
Is it that when push comes to shove, family is where its at? Well, that’s probably going to serve as a HUGE reminder as to where your priorities will lay after we emerge from the vault again. That getting lost in the tides of life isn’t what you want anymore, and that this is an opportunity to change what you do for and with them.
Is it that, when your job isn’t there anymore, you get to realise that you attached soooo much of your identity to that role you played, you genuinely have to wonder what else there is to you? (Looking at you here Mick… ) Maybe you are a dramatically more profound and deep being than the title of Vic from Logistics™ would have you believe. You get to meet that side of you. I’m happy to say, that’s pretty freaking scary for a lot of people, but if you don’t know yourself on some deeper level, life will continue to be the same before/during/after this.
Basically, life is happening TO you. Is that really what you want?
At this point, I could mention all sorts of clichés, that are true in the moment, but don’t really ask tough enough questions about yourself in this space.
You have to find out who your real friends are…
You have to see what humans are really like…
You have to see how crap the politicians and government really is… (not saying this one isn’t true, but bear with me)
Now, while these questions might be relevant, they are pretty negative and will affect your stress and headspace more than you realise. As well as externalising everything going on as someone else’s bullshit. Not to mention, never actually ask the real question: What’s going on for you?
How about these as ideas instead.
You get to find out how strong/resourceful/capable/valuable/badarse you really are.
You get to find out how you really want to be towards the people around you.
You get to find out where YOUR standards and beliefs and values really are. Rather than the rules that are imposed upon you.
Where is your line in the sand about what you choose to do, how you choose to it, and why you choose to do it?
What are you going to do with yourself and your time while things are the way they are?
Gripe and moan about staying inside, and how badly you want to punch that stupid prick Sam in the throat for eating the last on the cheese and onion chips? Can’t eat any more chips then, CAN YOU SAM!!!!
Or stand up and invest in yourself and the people and world around you.
What could that look like?
What can you do with what and who you are to make this situation better?
Me? I get to spend more time with my boy. I get to talk to my friends more. I get to learn more about Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I get to practice meditation more regularly. I get to look for opportunities to be more resourceful in reaching people. I get to build more things to help more people. I get to build structures into my business that it needs to be successful.
What do you currently have to be grateful for?
What do you get the opportunity to do and invest time in?
What do you want to do?
Be kind, be smart, be your best you. No (virtual) bar fights.
"'Enough' is a feast.” Buddhist proverb.
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