So, that titles a bit of a misnomer. Sorry for that already, Liam.
With that said, let’s start it better.
Who here has heard of the method known as Be/Do/Have when it comes to asking and honestly answering questions about yourself and your future?
We use this as a way confront why things are the way they are for us right now, and then reverse engineer it to plan and action how to change that.
Simples!
Sort of.
Let’s take myself as the example.
Let’s just say my life sucks. On a few different levels. (It’s not true. My life is pretty awesome and getting awesomer, even if my grammar doesn’t reflect that)
Okay, so we look at what I Have.
A failing business.
A toxic relationship.
No worthwhile future to hope for.
Crippling anxiety about all of that…
Sounds delightful, right?
Next, what do I Do that makes sure that THAT shit is what I have?
Running a business with no plan or direction.
Venting at my partner about their failings before they can do the same to me.
Abandons looking at the potential of the future in favour of griping about the past and present…
Awesome. Good times.
And what do I Be (sorry about the grammar again…) to enable that?
Someone who hasn’t really tried to make a plan, because that’s hard… Weirdly, not interested in hard given that’s how life already feels.
Someone who’d rather blame them than look at my own self and behaviours.
Someone who finds it easier and more convenient to complain about things than invest energy in changing them.
Quite the little death spiral there isn’t it? The more we complain and gripe, the harder we find the situation.
Now, I’d be stunned if every single person on the planet hasn’t had SOME version of this happen in their lives… Yes, even Jonanthien “the trust fund kid”. His constant fight to keep up with his frenemy Oleksandaar “with the bigger trust fund” kid, just to impress Clarisselle and her posse of heiresses, is going to drive poor Jonanathien into some pretty deep ego crushing existential crisis’. The harder he tries to one up Ol’ Daar, the more he fails and the harder he tries… Trust fund wont last long that way, huh Jonny boy?
Billionaires have their problems and concerns too, guys… I mean, they’re still human, technically, even if they live in a completely different stratosphere of society than us.
Anyway. The point is, we all have times that can spiral down, if we double down on it. Or slow, if not reverse, if we want to enough.
Which is when we look at the Be/Do/Have in the other direction. We’ve seen the suck, lets look at the up.
This, admittedly, is a little trickier. Because if you’re so used to the suck, the next question is pretty challenging. But if you’ve read literally any previous blog of mine, you’re probably used to these next questions by now.
What do you want?
As in, to Have?
Take some time with it Bek. Don’t go absurd with ideas (I can’t help you be a billionaire, I’d already be one if I could. Sorry…), but don’t limit yourself too harshly either…
What could you possibly hope to Have? My example again.
A successful business. Cool. How successful? In what way? Financially and work life balance?
A loving and supportive relationship. Great. Are they hot? How many doctorates do they have? Only 3?...
A future filled with almost literally whatever experience I could want. Travel? Learning? Everywhere? Can do!
That sounds awesome! “But it’s just a pipedream!” I hear you bemoan loudly Johnno with the trust fund.
Honestly, only if you don’t have a concept and plan of way to achieve those things. Which is why we look at the Do stuff now.
So, what does a me who has that sweet Have stuff actually Do to get it?
Plans, invests in and executes a solid and tested business plan.
Brings love and support to his relationship, no matter what they may bring.
Chooses to look at the future as opportunity any and all times.
Sounds super easy, huh? Yeah, not exactly all THAT easy. But it’s a hell of a start if we don’t have anything else to run with. Obviously details and real life factor in, but if we can start with a template to change our life, then we have some structure to build with.
Which is where the details come in. The building, I mean.
Who do I need to Be, to Do and Have those things? Well, this is the very quick, superficial version, but details really aren’t the best place to start.
I Be someone who invests in the skillset of being a successful business person, who studies and takes time to apply that study so that the business I’m growing actually takes me where I want to go.
I Be someone who values and cherishes a loving and supporting way of life towards themselves, and therefore knows what it looks like to give it to their significant other and receive it in turn.
I Be someone who gets up every morning actively looking for things to be grateful for, to appreciate about the now and the future, so that the habit becomes a part of my thoughts and behaviours every day, all aimed towards creating that future, rather than hoping it turns up.
Now, I’m aware that there’s a bit more to it that that. But the point is, if you don’t even try to change things, ESPECIALLY yourself, then literally nothing ever will. It’ll be the same old shit to… endure. And survive through.
If we don’t like how things are, change something. I am sorry to tell you guys, but that something is always, and always will be, you.
Just you.
You, who wants something different.
You, who doesn’t like how things were and continue to be.
You, who knows that Crap™ is not life’s default mode.
You, who is fed up with being the common denominator in the middle of that Crap™.
You, who dares to hope that there is that spark of potential within you that can see things differently, and do things differently, and have things differently.
Who are you being?
What are you doing?
What do you want?
Be kind, be smart, be your best you. No bar fights.
“When things go wrong, don't go with them.” Elvis Presley
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