As someone who recently got to re-experience a sleepless night overthinking, I am aware it is very little fun. And that’s just one night, let alone stringing many in a row until it becomes normal. Normal shittiness becomes multiplied shittiness…
Overthinking can feel like the bane of common sense, because there’s a part of us that is just sitting in the back seat saying “dude, you know this is dumb, right?”. From a certain point of view though, it IS common sense. Yes, I know I’m already saying stuff that makes not much sense. Off to a flier, hey Burt?
Overthinking is born out of anxiety, the unholy spawn of the uncontrollable nature of the universe and the desperate need for us (the small specs of squishy and occasionally stinky stardust) to make sense of us, how the hell we got here and protect ourselves from the swampy bog of existence and experience.
Sorry Burt, that’s WAS pretty pessimistic wasn’t it…
Well, maybe I can shed a little light on why I’m suddenly so negative. I promise its not exclusively the sleep loss I’m currently enjoying.
Humans evolved their pre-frontal cortex with time travel in mind.
Yes, I meant that. No, really, I meant that.
As us less hairy monkeys developed our capacity for thought, we came up with more and more sophisticated ideas about shiney shit and how we could get that. And so the concept of time, and by extension, the FUTURE(!!!) was conceptualised. We began to figure out that the world would be here tomorrow, that we’d probably be hungry tomorrow, and that this was a thing that was probably worth thinking about. With me so far? Good, because I did just call you a less hairy monkey…
So, we developed more and more intricate ways to engage our brain in worry. Starvation, procreation, competing tribes, weather, crop failure, raiders, colonials with germs, your manager Lyle who just won’t let you switch that Thursday shift. Literally anything that you could see several, potentially catastrophic, outcomes for.
“But… what it this happens? Then that will happen, I’ll lose my job, my family will pelt me with eggs, and I’ll have to live in a dumpster fighting off the raccoons until I can bribe the rats to side with me in a righteous alliance to finally dethrone Martok the Indestructable Raccoon God.”
Remember Shitstorm C from last week? Sometimes, we don’t even need stuff to actually happen, its enough to just imagine it as a possibility to drive us into that old sympathetic nervous system and have adrenaline and cortisol spilling out of our ears. Pretty sure I’ve bored you guys enough about that stuff, but it turns up so bloody often…
We get wound up, we cant come down, it gets worse and worse and worse. We cant, wont and don’t do anything, because we cant see for the life of us see any way that Shitstorm C wont happen… So we stay in our cave, threat response on full Defcon 6 red alert, rocking back and forth in the fetal position because Karen didn’t laugh as hard out our joke in the meeting today.
Sounds absurd doesn’t it? Well, it kind of is… This is what I meant about overthinking being common sense. That damned brain is trying to use what it, in its high and mighty opinion, considers to be common sense to avoid disaster.
Makes sense so far? I mentioned safe and right once or twice too. This is basically how your brain tries to do that, protect you by pretending its trying to find a solution to a situation that often doesn’t need any solution… We really are ridiculous animals sometimes, and not just for this.
But, I mentioned sleep, didn’t I? Well, get this.
What do MOST of us do all day?
The cynical part of me you met in an earlier paragraph was pretty negative. How much stuff do we invent to distract us from how tough life can really be? Netflix, puppies (yes, I’m aware they weren’t technically invented, as such), craft beer, more and more really pretty shoes. I could go on, you know I could…
When you have chores to do as a kid, what mind-numbing and otherwise un-considerable tasks are you prepared to do to avoid that one specific dreaded one? Hell, even adults.
Well, what would you categorise thinking about us as the insignificant speck in the suffering wash of the universe as? Sounds like a pretty dread-able one to me? Well, what do you do to avoid that? You know what you do, don’t you Kelly?…
I’ll admit, sometimes its not even anything that significant. Sometimes it’s just stuff that’s awkward and uncomfortable. But unpleasant enough to ignore regardless.
So, we bury all this significant and unpleasant and awkward and unpleasant stuff under all that mundane shit we do. But where does it go? Thank you for your honesty and self-reflection Kelly, you’re exactly right. NOWHERE! It slides beneath the waves of superficial thought, like a rock waiting to sink an unprepared thought ship once the lookout passes out on Netflix rum (sorry, that WAS a bit of a cumbersome metaphor wasn’t it? But don’t you like sunken pirate ships stories? No? aww..)
And this is why the over thinking kicks in when it’s time for sleep. You’re slowly but surely relaxing, with sleep preparation, the superficial thoughts that cover up all that hyper vigilance the subconscious has been registering below the waves.
And suddenly all that reef based metaphor comes back to the surface and now, of all times brain!, those small petty things and/or massive daunting things come back to haunt you.
“I forgot to pay that bill on time, hopefully they don’t cut off the water.”
“I wonder if Nathan noticed I accidentally spat into his coffee while talking this morning?”
“If I die tomorrow, will I arrive in Valhalla ready for axes and mead, or be reincarnated as a sea slug?”
Now, I am all too aware I’m being absurd. Well, a bit anyway. No change there though. But I’m hoping you guys can see it too. Mostly, I just want to make it apparent that a lot of this stuff just isn’t worth your time.
You’ll pay that bill tomorrow, and figure out anything else then.
Unless you gave him bubonic plague, I’m sure Nathan would have said something if it actually mattered.
Are you planning on dying in battle tomorrow? Because that’s who goes to Valhalla. And the heinous stuff you’d have to have done to be reincarnated as a sea slug is probably already something your quite aware of and probably aren’t supressing until it’s time for sleep. Just saying.
So, how do we change this? Short answer: pattern interrupt and practice.
Long answer: recognising, in the moment, that this isn’t worth your time and sanity and that a quick slap in the face/poke in the eye/honest introspection on our place in the universe and the illusion of control, can interrupt these thoughts patterns and ideally give you some peace to actually go to seep when you want to.
This, like every bloody thing, takes practice. And hopefully begins the practice of addressing the bigger thoughts during your waking hours instead of at bedtime. And ignoring the pointless thoughts that are perpetuating the idea that you’re always under threat and want to make that true. Safe and right, right?...
So, how do you want to be when it comes to sleep? Engaged and ready to drift off into peaceful slumber? Or worried about what your son’s friend’s mums bitchy sister said about your old and dirty gardening shoes.
Pick and choose your metaphorical, and potentially Valhalla inducting, literal battles.
Be kind, be smart, be your best you. No bar fights.
“To think too much is a disease.” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Comments