We must never tell lies, huh? What about white lies? What about lies to get people out of trouble? What about lies that are to get me out of trouble that don’t really hurt anyone else? What about them?...
Well, its up to you and where you KNOW the truth really lays. Otherwise you risk changing the fabric of the universe…
And that’s dangerous. For you, your sanity and the universe in general. Yes yes, I know im being melodramatic again… But give me a chance to explain it, Lillian.
What happens when you say something that isn’t? What does your deep-down self really think about the rubbish you say? Do you maybe, just possibly, start to trust yourself a little less? Especially when it comes to attempting to tell yourself to do something? Does your word mean ANYTHING to you at all?
Maybe I need to explain that a little better… Which isn’t unusual for me. Is it. Glenn...
When you consciously say something that isn’t, you put yourself at odds with yourself and the reality you deep down know is true. And your head has to go through all sorts of mental gymnastics to be okay with that. And sometimes you stick that landing to the wild applause of the crowd in your head (usually your ego, that wants things to work out for you no matter what bullshit you happen to be pedalling that day), sometimes you make an absolute dogs breakfast of it and somehow manage to walk away on your own two feet while wondering how you thought you were ever going to pull that off…
After saying something that isn’t, ever felt guilty afterwards?...
Well, that’s when your lower/dirty/cheating/nasty parts of ego didn’t stick the landing… It couldn’t justify the reasons why to say untruths in the slightest, and a part of you knows deep down that saying untruths just isn’t something that serves you. With the exception of some short term pain anyway.
But when you do stick the landing? Well, that is usually where most people find the room in their uneven bar routine for white lies. Inconsequential little things that don’t cause any real harm either way. But even those can be a slippery slope…
What happens when its not the usual little white lies though?
When you start dropping the whoppers… things get dodgey. For you and the reality around you.
Ever heard someone say that lying requires waaaay more effort than truth? If it’s a big enough lie, or we are scared enough of the consequences, we tell more lies to cover the lies, and more and more. Then its so hard to keep up with this alternate reality you’ve concocted in your head that you just eventually see it all come crashing down because you just forget all those little details that got added and added. Been there before? Messy right?...
For some reason, possibly because you’re in tune with the universe or some other metaphysical hippy-ish reason, the truth is just easier to remember. Trying to construct our own version of reality is pretty freaking hard to maintain for long, because deep down you know you’re pushing against reality (and probably your own conscience, because that is one super naggy bugger you’ve got in your head).
“But what about all those arseholes who lie through their teeth at every given opportunity? They don’t have things fall back on them and get found out and kharmiclly forced to do the walk of shame that leaves them a permanently embarrassed shade of red for messing with reality?” I hear you say. And that’s kind of fair. Fair to ask the question at least…
What does happen to them, then?
Sometimes, nothing. Which is not freaking fair at all, but I’m also happy to sit here and say that even if they do somehow stick the landing on the bollocks they're selling EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME., its taking its toll. That guilt and being at odds with what they know is true, has to go somewhere.
Which finally brings me to the point of why I’m writing this thing today in the first place…
Every single time you say an untruth, you are training your larger sense of self to not be able to trust a damn thing you say. Worse, you might not be able to trust a single thing you think. Especially if your running on full ego auto-pilot mode…
The more you don’t stick to the truth, the more evidence a larger and deeper part of you has that the things you say, the vows you make, the commitments you invest it, aren’t the truth and aren’t worth paying attention to.
“I’ll start that diet Monday…”
Heard you say that one to yourself before?
How true was it?
Was it a lie, to justify not doing what you knew was good for you, but at the time would rather placate yourself into doing what you’ve always done in the past?
Did the lie stick the landing? Because it did, you just taught yourself that the phrase “I’ll start that _____ on ______” means nothing to you. You say stuff you don’t mean, so you don’t mean what you say. To yourself. You know, the person you need to trust the most in this world?...
If a friend kept lying to you about who they are, what they’re going to do, saying things they clearly didn’t mean or intend to do anything about, what would you think?...
Would “I don’t believe a slimy thing that comes out of that deception machine of untruths and sin mouth. It will be derogatory and hateful slander aimed at reality but disguised as words. I scorn you and your malicious use of the devils work, I abjure thee!!!” cover it?
I know, Lillian, being melodramatic again… Sorry. But it is fun.
Well, what if you thought that about yourself?
If you genuinely found something you wanted to commit to after decades of convincing yourself that lying to yourself was entirely acceptable, what do you think would happen? Would you trust yourself to live up to that commitment? Or would your deeper self write it all off as bullshit?
You know what, Paul? Here’s a great opportunity to see if you DO lie to yourself.
Can you even ask yourself the question “Do I lie to myself?” genuinely and honestly?
Not talking about the answer, that can wait, but can you sit there and take the question seriously?
If the answer is no, if youre placating yourself with justification before you've even given it some genuine thought… Well, that says something about how reluctant you are (on an ego level anyway) to even ask for the truth, let alone accept it and act on it.
What does that say about how likely you are to act on the stuff your ego wants to virtue signal about? Because that’s what it ends up being in the end. Saying stuff to make your ego feel better about the dumb stuff we do, only to find that it ends up being more examples of how full of shit we really are.
If you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?
Well, if you’re lucky, someone with a modicum of integrity that can and will help you in a valuable way. And at least for long enough to have some evidence that you can do the shit your told to do.
But what happens when they aren’t there anymore? Do you go back to lying to yourself, or do you keep going with the stuff you are told until you make it yours?
But if you need someone else to tell you what to do, is that more evidence that your aren’t capable of making those decisions or yourself, of seeing through your own lies for long enough to actually get things done and stop making yourself less than you are?
So, do you trust what you think to yourself? What you think OF yourself?
Or does your word mean shit because you’ve made a liar out of yourself so many times?
Trust me about this or not, but you ARE paying attention to yourself.
What do you see and hear when you pay attention to yourself?
Are you warping your perception of yourself compared to the reality within and around you, just to placate that bloody ego?
Do you still honestly wonder why you don’t do the shit you say you’re going to do?
Is it any wonder people keep looking to others to hold them accountable for what they say they want?
Yes, Gavin, I know I am being a bit brutal today. Terribly sorry about your feelings about yourself... I’m trying to tell the truth. Weird how telling the truth has a bit of pain associated with it, huh? That flash of pain is exactly what we try to avoid by lying. And sticking the landing means you just swallow the lie rather than feel the pain that can make you better and stronger and more awesome than ever before. Maybe even hotter too, depending on how much you’re prepared to lie to yourself about visits to Krispy Kreme… Looking at you, Barbs.
I’d argue that being less that you really are will have its own pain, that will rear its harsh but well earned head eventually…
If you lie, and your ego doesn’t stick the landing? Well, that’s when we rake ourselves over the coals with guilt, lose sleep, stress ourselves out about maintaining the untruth we tried to make into reality. Sounds like pain to me.
So, as always (I seriously need to make some merch with my catch phrases on it someday…), what do you choose?
Momentary, or at least shorter term, pain? Maybe for yourself, someone you love? pain that WILL eventually make you, others and reality better for the truth?
Or lies? That warp your perception of yourself, that WILL cause pain in a longer term. To yourself, because its your own damned anguish and time spent being less than you are. To others, by allowing self-deception to taint their perception of reality, themselves or even you.
Telling the truth, guys, is the road to make yourself the truer version of you. A bit of self-awareness is a great place to start.
Stop saying things that make you less.
Stop messing with reality. Yours at least... (I mean, you probably won’t create a rift in space time, but is it really worth finding out that hard way?)
You are far, FAR more than your ego has tried to lie its way through.
Stop letting convenience and ease and the fear of a bit of pain stop you from being who you could be.
It really is worth it. Promise.
Be kind, be smart, be your best you. No barfights.
“To be Jedi is to face the truth, and choose.” Yoda
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